Lying

I am compulsively honest. When honesty won't do, I won't lie, I just err toward vagueness...

I am paranoid about being caught in a lie. I am paranoid about streching the truth, making something sound better than it really is, and I take to heart all those urban myths about someone getting caught about an exaggeration on a resume and never working again.

I am terrified of being accused of lying even more than of actually lying.

Maybe working in Development isn't the best field for me. My job isn't to lie, exactly, but to always put everything in the best light possible, and I'm just too paranoid to do it as well as other people can...

Rest

Today was a Lauren Day. It was a day for me. I slept in (a little) and I went to the spa and I started working on a new craft/storytelling project. I feel good. I think that it is good to take days to take care of oneself, and it is good to get to do so. I wish I could do it more. But spa visits are barely an annual event, so I have to find other ways to do it.

Here are some ways I can take care of myself:

1. Turn off the damn TV and find something else to do
2. Keep better To-Do lists and make sure they have nice things on them as well as required things. Check things off for a sense of accomplishment!
3. Stretch
4. Remember that just thinking about something doesn't count as actually doing it, unless one is percolating, but even percolation must lead to actual brewing sometimes
5. Listen to more music
6. Designate space

Those are some things to start with. I'm also beginning a new initiative to document creative activity so that it gets out of my head and into the world.

Half-Measures

Tarak brought THIS to my attention.

I spend a shameful amount of money at The Buck, but I adamantly maintain that this is because it beats DD and Pax in terms of...everything. Well, maybe Pax is less offensive on a corporate level, but it's still offensive on every other level. Working in Midtown forces one to make some complex and disheartening compromises in one's beliefs and standards regarding coffee and acceptable after-work drink environments. There is not a high standard in Midtown. There is barely a standard at all.

That being said, I have to ask:

1. Why do they have to train everyone at the same time? That seems to guarantee that there won't be consistently qualified trainers at each location.
2. What, exactly, do they think they will be able to accomplish in 3 hours that will counteract years and years of apathetic brewing?
3. Why, for the love of all that is good and well-brewed in the world, have they not addressed that their employees can't pull a half-decent shot or steam anything other than skunky milk before this time????

I'm going in on the 27th and getting a latte and if it even has a whisper of foam or crema I will take all of my criticisms back. But it won't.

(I am compelled to note for the sake of a certain stylish friend of mine who manages a Bux in Seattle that NYC Bux are really the bottom of the barrel and, according to some people, one can still acquire a decent latte at NW Bux)

And Some More...

Believe it or not, my sister wasn't the only of our siblings to get engaged this week!

J and C have been circling around an egagement for years and years and I couldn't be happier that C is officially going to be a member of our family now.

Are we all just a bunch of breeders or what? Out of the 7 siblings between our two families, my little brother Daniel will be the only unmarried one by this time next year. FORTUNATELY this means that some of the baby-pressure I've been subjected to will be dispersed amongst the other Missuses. That's my plan, anyway...

I Hope You're Satisfied

Here you go folks! Now that the parents are informed, you may be too:This ring is not the real one- the real one will have a ruby some of Mom's diamonds and is being custom-made.

Looks like I'll be be in The Ham for another L-Family wedding this year!

The crazy thing is that I've never even met this guy - he and my sister started dating not quite a year ago and, living on opposite coasts, we haven't actually been in the same city at the same time, except for once but then Carolyn was in Morocco, so I felt weird about calling him and introducing myself. I guess I'll meet him at the wedding...

Seriously?!

OMG, people! No one is having any babies (that I know of). I appreciate all your phone calls and congratulations, but the things I'm happy about are on a much different scale. But you're all very sweet.

MNS is vague and secretive all the time on her blog, and no one gives her grief about it! They're all just like, "Well, that's MNS..." Don't I get to have secrets?!?!

Happy Tuesday

Despite the presumed anonymity of the internets and blogger, I don't actually feel comfortable sharing some things that have happened around my life in the last couple days that are a pretty big deal but not things I can or want to send out to who knows who (you know who you are, but I don't). SO. Let's just say that some things have happened that been long in coming, and they are a big deal to me. That's all I'm saying. Okay. Sorry for such a lame post after a long silence.

ZPJ V-Day Top 10

10) He's a master of morning-after feasts.

9) He's learning to play the mandolin.

8) We sing nonsensical songs together.

7) He (begrudgingly) lets me write things on his skin and when I slap his butt, it leaves a handprint.

6) Even before we started dating, my home was where he was.

5) He loves my cats, possibly even more than I do.

4) I cannot think of a situation in which he was not able to make me laugh.

3) I talk to him all day long on the choogle and still never run out of things to talk about when he gets home.

2) Duh.

1) We've been known to stay in bed in the morning for hours and hours because he's just that good at cuddling.

That Dream

I had that dream last night. You know the one. The one where you have to perform but you haven't rehearsed. Sometimes its rehearsing without the script or thinking that you have a rehearsal but actually there's an audience. There are variations, but it comes to the same thing - blind terror and abject humiliation.

Do other people get this dream, too, or just theatre people?

In my dream this time, I had a to perform my one-woman theatrical adaptation of Helen Lester's classic, A Porcupine Named Fluffy. The thing is, I have only "performed" this peice one time, six months ago, and it isn't really suited to a full auditorium setting, which is where my dream took place. It's told with felt pieces being moved around a felt board. The nuance doesn't really read for audiences of more than, say 10. Certainly not 150. And in my dream, the book that I was using to help tell the story was different from the one I adapted, so I had to remember the story from scratch. But I was so determined to get through the thing with some dignity that even when my alarm clock went off half way through and relieved me from the pressure of the situation, I determinedly went back to sleep so that I could finish the show. Is that dedication to the craft or what?!? Skeptics might point out that it was FREEZING this morning and even on-stage embaressment in front of a large crowd was preferrable to getting out of bed this morning.

Little Black Ego-Boosters

I wore a dress to work today. It's not a new dress or a fancy dress, just pretty much your typical little black dress. I had a full 80% of my office-mates tell me how hot I looked, and that leads me to believe that I am either getting hotter because of my once-a-week-pilates session (unlikely) or that I am usually a schlub when I go to work (much more likely). My office environment could only be described as "business casual" with a great deal of generosity, but maybe I've been abusing the "casual" a little too much and could stand to wear a dress more than just once in a while...I like when people tell me I'm hot.

The Votes Are In!

PIE PARTY WINS!!!!!!!!!

It was actually a "National Pie Day (observed)"/Hat Party, so everyone brought a pie and a hat. This is a selection of the pies:

30 pies / 40 guests = .75 pies each

It didn't go down that way, though, so we had to go back to the Walkiltons' house the next day and eat more pie while watching football thus the pie baby. After the second pie-trip, there were still about 12 pies in their fridge.

Pie Favorites:

• Mint Chocolate Cheesecake
• Avacado Pie
• Banana Creme with Toasted Coconut Meringue

(mine is the cherry pie with the lattice and heart at the corner of the table)

In terms of OTHER voting results, I am beginning to lose a little steam for this primary election and I can't imagine how the campainers are feeling. Do we really have to wait till April to know who our candidate is? Are we going to have a floor fight at the convention? I'm just glad I got to vote, though, and gratified that bklyn was the only district in the metro area that was even close to a fifty-fifty draw, even if my single vote didn't tip BO over the edge.

Fuck You, AXE

Congratulations on having the most offensive ad to date.

More Super-Duper Tuesday Inspiration

This is from my hometown paper's editorial page yesterday...

MEN PRESIDENTS ONLY

It's a wonder I made it out of that place, but not such a wonder I don't want to go back.

Pollster

I just voted! This is somewhat noteworthy because, according to the city, county, and state election board websites I was not eligible to vote in the primary because I filled out my change-of-address form 22 days ago instead of 25 days ago and I was resigned to being a (self)disenfranchised voter.

BUT THEN a co-worker told me that I could still vote with an affidavit ballot at the polls! This defied my website-based information, but I forced ZPJ to read through a 600-page legal statute and get confirmation that this was true and I headed down to the local elementary school and dropped my ballot in the box.

So, I am now flushed with the warmth of patriotism and the knowledge that for once in my life I acutally cast a vote that might have an effect on the political process...

NO THANKS TO: election board websites for thier inadequate information on how I could have my vote counted
MANY THANKS TO: a proportional award of delegates in a contested congressional district and Isaac from Working Man's Clothes Productions!

I haven't blogged in forever, as TK is reminding me.

Here is a problem in my life. I think of things I want to do but I don't do them because, even though I have time to start them and maybe even complete them, I don't have time to do them the way they should be done and lord forbid I do something imperfectly so I don't even start. Examples:

1. calling my mom
2. writing/sketching
3. blogging

I've had lots of ideas lately for really great blog posts. Seriously. They would knock your socks off. You would be so impressed. But I haven't had the time or inclination to really do them justice, so I haven't even started. Here's what you're missing out on:

1. The terse and passive-agressive email exchange I had with my principal-nemesis
2. A pie party
3. The funny and educational but also potentially racist thing I did in class the other day
4. Meditations on the coming and uncoming of spring

I'm hoping that some of these still make it out there.

I used to not do things because I was busy. Now there is a different reason, but I don't know what it is.