Yikes!

Scary Baby! Is it just me, or does this baby look like she's wearing a wig?! Why would you put a baby in a wig? Why would any parent want their baby to actually GROW hair like that??? Babies are supposed to have adorable ringletts or peach fuzz. What were they thinking?!?!?!?

How Much is Too Much?

I think I have too much cabbage.

I really wanted some chopped cabbage salad and I got some white cabbage at the market and ordered some red cabbage from Fresh Direct, but they sent me MORE white cabbage, and now I have more than it is likely I will eat this week....

Cabbage anyone? Stop on by Team J Headquarters for a good, cabbagey time!

UNRELATED: Happy 30th, ZPJ!!!! You are my sweetheart and my darling and if you ever get off work and come home, I will give you even more kisses than cabbage!!!

Gutters and Strikes

ZPJ worked a 33-hour shift without breaks on Wednesday and Thursday, and has had to be in all weekend as well. He seems confident that another all-nighter is in his cards tonight...

He did manage to leave a little early, however, to celebrate his upcoming 30th with bowling and beer-halling:



In attendance:

The Dude: Zach "Hey, man, there's a beverage here..."
Maude Lebowski: Michelle "My work has been commended as strongly vaginal"
Brandt: Brad "Her life is in your hands, Dude"
Bunny: Joanne "Uli doesn't care about anything"
Uli: Brian "I believe in nothing"
Jesus: Angela "Dios mio, man"
The Big Lebowski: Zach "Get a job, sir!"
Marty, The Landlord: Lauren "My cycle is being performed"
Jackie Treehorn: Sarah "The brain is the biggest erogenous zone"
The Stranger: John "Do you have to use so many cuss words?"
Donny: Lindsay "I'm throwing rocks tonight!"

Big Announcement

We're expanding! Team J Headquarters is not really complete without fuzzers, and we happened to find some kitties who were in need of a good home and lots of perching places. They are an middle-aged bonded pair, male/female, and they are very outgoing and sweet. Tonight has involved a lot of snooping in corners and exploration of strange noises, as well as some good ear-scratching.

Welcome, Fuzzerifics!

For My First "Awesome"

I am very, very excited about this article:

Better to be Fat and Fit than Skinny and Unfit

It's seems like common sense, on one hand, but then you start reading the 158 comments attached and it becomes more complicated.

There seems to be a real fear present in the comments that if fat people aren't made to feel shameful, something bad will happen. "Uh oh! If we tell them its okay to be fat, who knows what will happen!!!" Maybe skinny people will have to stop feeling superior. The horror.

But the greatest thing is the comments from all the women out there who testify about how great they feel about themselves and how fit they are, despite their BMI. Yay, women!!!

I can't remember if I wrote about this last month, but I had a doctor advise me to lose 45lbs within six months without asking about my current diet or exercise habits and it really got under my skin. I eat better and exercise more than most of my friends who are within a "normal" BMI and I would have to develop an eating disorder to drop that kind of weight in any amount of time. So, even though this study might not change societal perceptions, I do hope that it has some effect in the medical community.

Awesome/Not Awesome

I'm instituting a new protocol on the blog, in homage to TBTL.

Things that are awsome will be tagged "Rawr", things that are not awesome will be tagged "Come on"

Back In The Swing of Things

It's nice to return to New York when the weather is actually enjoyable.

I had a stressful trip. There were altercations with family members. I am trying to block it out because every time I think of it I get a little nauseated.

My tip for the day: When people tell you that open communication is the best thing and that it is better to have things openly addressed rather than oppressed, THEY ARE LYING. Do not attempt. Always push things down, down, down, and just smile until you get on the plane. If you find yourself tempted to clear the air and say something honest, very sincerely look in your heart and ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen?" Because it probably will.

On a related note: Thank you for all your kind words regarding my last post. It really comforted me. I am feeling very blessed by having so many supportive and comforting people in my life, especially those of you who are so far away!

On an UNrelated note: I think people in this city work too much. Or at least people I know. One person I talked to tonight was contemplating getting a 5-10 job on top of her 9-5 job. Another person I know (who I should be sleeping with tonight) is pulling an all-nighter at the office and reaching for that golden ring of "double-time after 24 consecutive hours". And I, dear reader, just finished sending off a slew of work emails that will have a 12:23am time-stamp on them.

I'm going to bed. Alone. Lawdy, I am pathetic.

TEASER: Big News Tomorrow. Maybe.

Bi-Coastal

I flew into Seattle very late last night, or maybe very early this morning, and by mid-day I was cruising up I-5 on my way to my sister's. The rolling landscape, the brilliant sky, the far off ridge of mountain peaks - it all felt like home. But it also made me sad because it is such a far cry from Brooklyn, which IS my home and has been for longer than anywhere else in my adult life. I love Brooklyn, I love NYC, and I love the Pacific Northwest, and I am torn because I want to have both all time. I wish I didn't have to choose.


Every time we come back to the NW, it gets harder. It gets harder because it is increasingly expensive and time-consuming. It gets harder because I am balancing my emotional and spiritual energy, my identity even, between two coasts. It gets harder because I am trying to maintain MANY relationships over very far distances.


I think I might be at a breaking point. I might be at the point when I can't maintain those relationships anymore, and they are going to start deteriorating. Maybe I have already reached that point and now I'm just at the point where I'm realizing it. I think I might be at the point where its no longer okay to split myself - my time, my heart, my dreams - between these two places.

The tensions are thickening. The unspoken (and sometimes VERY spoken) accusations are flying. There isn't time to address anything, mend anything. There's barely time to catch up, get some hugs, and get back on the plane.

The NW makes me love Brooklyn even more. Brooklyn makes me love the NW even more. I've long passed the chance to move back and pick up where I left off - the last three years have changed me. Maybe the changes are just the natural effects of that much time, but I think a lot of it has to do with the place that I've been during that time - a place where so much of my life is lived in public, so many people crammed in a small space, so much competition for jobs, apartments, good seats at the bars, so little space for quiet and reflection.

I'm not ready to leave NY, not even close. I missed it as soon as I got off the plane, and I'm not ready for that missing to be a constant part of my life. But I don't know how long I can keep stretching my heart between both coasts. I am tired of having the same fights about love and time every time we come back here. I am tired of always feeling guilty and distant and aloof and separate. I'm sick of missing every milestone in my friends' and families' lives. Even when I manage to be there for the day, the weekend, I'm not really there. Every trip is marked by the people I didn't get to see, the gatherings that I had to cut short. And even if I moved back here next week, I would just switch the coast that I was cutting short. I'd start feeling guilty and jealous every time I visited New York.

I'm in love with two places. I think it must be like being in love with two people. You can make it work for a little while, but eventually the one or the other catches on, and everyone knows you can't keep both.

The Elderly

Got another year older yesterday.

Highlights:

• I played the building at the Governor's Island Ferry Terminal, thanks to David Byrne
• I spent a romantic and peaceful afternoon on Governor's Island, thanks to ZPJ (but sans champagne, thanks to the bag-checkers)
• I had a fun game night with some friends, thanks to...friends...

Some Lessons Learned over the last year:

• Always read the fine print on student loans
• Love your cats as much as you can when you're able
• Having a sunroom for a bedroom drastically increases your quality of life
• You can't make all the people (read: Family) happy all the time
• I am a lucky, lucky, lucky girl

One more year in my twenties, folks. Let's make it count.

In Memoriam, Benny, 1994 (?) - 2008

For the second time this summer, Team J lost a cat. Benny had some pretty serious problems in her stomach and intestines. She stopped eating consistently about a week before she died, spent some time in the kitty emergency room, and finally passed away on Wednesday, July 3oth in the late evening.

She was, as you can see, an aggressive sleeper. Rarely a day went by without finding her curled in a perfectly circular fashion on whichever piece of furniture/floor/box/clothing she fancied at the moment.



Benny was best known for:

• Hiding in the Garden
• Loudly demanding food
• Sleeping
• Snaggletoothing
• Licking ZPJ's left nostril and beard (but never the right nostril)
• Jumping onto the piece of furniture you were most likely to walk past so she could lean into you.
• Rolling around in catnip bags that were mistakenly left too close to the edge of the table
• Sleeping
• Hunting moths in the backyard, which she was good at because she was black like the night.
• Spooning
• Sleeping
• When you held her and she wanted to lick you, she would claw the nearest part of your body to make sure you weren't going anywhere. LJ says it was more like a caress, but ZPJ stands by his clawing description.

She and her sister are already so greatly missed, and have left an empty home in their wake. They were the sweetest pets we ever could have hoped for, and while surely other cats may come and go, they will live long with us and will never be replaced.

Benny died on Wednesday.

I am devastated.

I have been trying for the last five days to distract myself from the fact that I live in a catless house.