Tired

I worked all weekend (annual festival) and I am tired. Mostly because between work shifts I went out to bars instead of home to rest. I did, however, insist on leaving those bars by midnight so that I would not turn into a pumpkin with baggy eyes in the morning.

Early residency tomorrow. All day training. Followed by more of the same all week. I am so thankful to be gainfully and fully employed, but I am exhausted!

I have many, many observations on very work-related things after hanging out with work people and working all weekend, but I'm not going to observe them right now because my time will be better spent writing my lesson plan for tomorrow and eating my take-out. Suffice it to say that I am seeing things and not knowing the right way to begin approaching them.

Also, I think I should mention that I am crazy about ZPJ. I think it goes without saying, most of the time, but I also think that sometimes it should go with saying. He's awesome. And cute. And good for cuddling with when one is exhausted.

Gullible

They say that when something seems to be too good to be true, it probably is. And they were saying that even before the internets came into our lives. I bet they say it even more now.

Has anyone heard about this website called "Mint.com"? It is supposed to magically organize all your finances with the click of a button and make nice charts for you and tell you how much you spend on what and how much you could be saving and it automatically updates all your financial information without you having to do anything. It sounds magical. But I'm skeptical. Because it's free. So tell me if you have heard anything about it.

REGARDING THE DAY PLANNER:
I just got back from the office store where I purchased some blue contact paper, so a creative and interesting day planner cover is on its way!

The Terror

I have been having massive, heart-wrenching disappointments in the world of day-planners recently.

I have a day-planner that I love. I've been using the same style for years and I'm very passionate about it, in a way I have never felt for day-planners before. It's an academic calendar, which works for me, so I am now due for a new one. There is only one place that I know carries this kind (believe me, I've looked all over), and I went twice in the last week and they were sold out. They promised me that the planners would be resocked, but it has not yet happened.

On a whim, I went to another stationary store and they carried my brand of day-planner, but only with yearly calendars, not academic. Thus, all the calendars were for 2008, which doesn't do me much good this week. I scoured the piles of notebooks for about twenty minutes and finally I emerged victorious! I had found one of my day-planners! In 2007-08 format! It had a different cover than my blue book that I usually get, but in my excitement I hastily bought it anyway- an expensive purchase but obviously one that I value.

I have not started using it, though. This is why: it is extremely ugly. It is not just blah or boring or dull- it is aflame with pink and purple modern-style flowers and it is UGLY. I can't bear to look at it. I want to go back and return it, even after all I went through to get it. I am massively disappointed. The store is really out of the way.

So do I spend an hour running around town to return it and get a dinky, inferior 07-08 calendar just to get me through the next three months and then upgrade? Or do I suffer with the one that I got, ugly though it is? If you don't believe me regarding it's ugliness:

It Makes Sense...

Last night, for some unexplainable reason, ZPJ and I were completely exhausted. Yes, it might have been the last few weeks of crazy work schedules and even crazier houseguests, but we had been relaxing all weekend and I thought we were mostly recovered. Last night we had planned on watching a Netflix movie that had been sitting around all month, but this movie has been called "intense", "mind-blowing", and "thought-provoking" and we didn't have any of those things in us. ZPJ says, "Let's just go to bed." "NO!," I exclaim, "it's only 8:30! How could we go to bed at 8:30?!?!" So we force ourselves to sit through another hour of thoughtless and banal television before we finally give up and hit the hay. By 9:35 ZPJ was snoring loudly in my ear and the cats were curled around us. When I woke up this morning, I felt strange. What was this? I felt rested? Energized? But on a MONDAY!?! How could it be...? Maybe I should go to bed at 9:30 every night.

Guilt

It is gorgeous out today, and somehow that makes me feel guilty- like I should be doing something active and exciting and relaxing all at once- soaking in the sun and being productive and happy. But instead I'm sitting inside, watching crappy TV and working. I insisted on going for a walk a couple hours ago, but the whole time I just felt like I was faking it. I want to be a person who does fun outside things on nice weekend days!!!! But I'm not and I'm pretty sure everyone in that park knew it.

Cat Attack!

My neighbor has a cat who is...troubled. Apparently this cat had a very traumatic kittenhood, and as a result suffers from some emotional confusion. This cat doesn't run away or hide or anything like that. When you walk in to feed her (if you were, for example, cat-sitting while the neighbor was out of town) she rubs up against your legs and purrs loudly and rolls over on the floor and displays her belly. But if you reach down to pet this cat, it will rip the flesh off of your bones. I know this cat well, having fed her many times, and I know better than to pet her. We have come to an understanding where I will sit with her and talk to her and maybe even poke her with a long stick, but I never, EVER touch her.

But then this week, on the sixth day of a seven day cat-sitting stretch, I was reaching down to pick up her food bowl and she rubbed her face against my hand. I froze. She rubbed my hand some more and my heart was filled with a warm, proud, happiness that I finally had gained this animal's trust. Then whatever is wrong with her switched back on and she attacked my hand with three of her paws and all of her teeth, shredding into my skin. I was totally asking for it. I should have known better. And for the last two days my hand has been red, swollen and bruised, prompting my co-workers to encourage me to visit the ER. I'm not going to, though. I'm too ashamed.

Does this cat LOOK like an agent of death???:

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

I KNOW!!!! Three posts in one day is a little absurd after not blogging much at all for the last couple weeks, but this HAS TO BE HERE. Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and below you can find some starter vocab:

• Addled -- Mad, insane, or just stupid. An "addlepate" is a fool.
• Ahoy -- "Hello!"
• Avast! -- "Hey!" Could be used as "Stop that!" or "Who goes there?"
• Begad! -- By God!
• Bilge! -- Nonsense, or foolish talk. The bilges of a ship are the lowest parts, inside the hull along the keel. They fill with stinking bilgewater -- or just "bilge."
• Bilge-sucking -- A very uncomplimentary adjective.
• Blimey! -- An exclamation of surprise.
• Booty -- Loot.
• Cap'n -- Short for "captain."
• Corsair -- A more romantic term for pirate. But still a pirate.
• Davy Jones' locker -- The bottom of the sea.
• Deadlights -- Eyes. "Use yer deadlights, matey!"
• Dead men tell no tales -- Standard pirate excuse for leaving no survivors.
• Feed the fish -- What you do when you are thrown into the sea, dead or alive.
• Grog -- Generically, any alcoholic drink. Specifically, rum diluted with water to make it go farther.
• Landlubber or just lubber -- A non-sailor.
• Me hearties -- Typical way for a pirate leader to address his crew.
• Matey -- A piratical way to address someone in a cheerful, if not necessarily friendly, fashion.
• No quarter! -- Surrender will not be accepted.
• Pillage -- To raid, rob, and sack a target ashore.
• Pirate -- A seagoing robber and murderer. Contrast with privateer.
• Poxy, poxed -- Diseased. Used as an insult.
• Rope's end -- another term for flogging. "Ye'll meet the rope's end for that, me bucko!"
• Rum (noun) -- Traditional pirate drink.
• Salt, old salt -- An experienced seaman.
• Scurvy -- (1) A deficiency disease which often afflicted sailors; it was caused by lack of vitamin C. (2) A derogatory adjective suitable for use in a loud voice, as in "Ye scurvy dogs!"
• Shiver me timbers! -- An expression of surprise or strong emotion.
• Sink me! -- An expression of surprise.
• Smartly -- Quickly. "Smartly there, men!" = "Hurry up!"
• Splice the mainbrace -- To have a drink. Or, perhaps, several drinks.
• Swag -- Loot.
• Walk the plank -- A piratical execution. The victim, usually blindfolded or with bound hands or both, is forced to walk along a plank laid over the ship's side, to fall into the water below. Except this seems to be a total invention; it first appeared in 19th-century fiction, long after the great days of piracy.
• Wench -- An individual of the female persuasion. "Saucy" is a good adjective to add to this, and if ye can get away with "Me proud beauty!," more power to ye.
• Yo-ho-ho -- A very piratical thing to say, whether it actually means anything or not.

Missin' You

I don't get to see my dear little Amelia very often, but thanks to the wonders of the internet, I get to see lots of pictures. She is getting so big! It's only been two months since I've seen her, and I swear she's twice as big, and I thought I'd post a picture because it seems like the proper good-aunt thing to do. I miss her!!! Sometimes when I think of her I start looking for flights back to the NW. One-way flights.

A Riddle

I came home today and found my front door slightly ajar. I went inside and it looked like someone had been rifling through my stuff, throwing things everywhere, and generally making a mess, but nothing was missing.

The answer to this riddle?

My mom has been staying with me for a week, and she's a little...forgetful. She tends to pick things up, put them down, and forget where. She tends to leave the house without closing the door. This has me understandably concerned about her adventures in the city while I'm at work, but so far she hasn't made it out of the house early enough on any given day to get into too much trouble.

I love having houseguests, but we've had them for awhile now- getting close to two weeks, and I'm needing a night off, so we shipped Mom and the brother off to G-ma's til tomorrow. What do ZPJ and I plan to do with our romantic night together? Oh, you know, the usual. No, really. The usual. Watch some cable. Talk to our cats. Eat messy food. Sit in the backyard. I love not doing that much of anything on a Wednesday night.

Things That I Can't Get Out of My Head

• Retorts I'd like to give to various bigoted relatives and family friends
• Explanations for why things at work that aren't right aren't my fault
• Justifications for why things on my thesis went a certain way (seriously, it's been months now- I can't let this go?)
• "Straighten Up and Fly Right"
• MoominHumans
• Potential things that could happen to my mom when she is alone in the city
• My schedule

Done and Done

It is done. It was not necessarily easy or pleasant, but nor was it grueling and painful. I only started to cry once, which was good, and better than expected. And I am now A Master!!!

Coming soon.... A list of what I am A Master of... i.e. I am A Master of Percolation

Throughout my life, a lot of people have told me that I'm smart. It started with my mom when I was probably a week old and continued through my boss, yesterday, at pre-season training. I would like to keep this trend going for another four hours, if possible. I have been working on this damn project for 15 months and I am so ready to be done, but I have to go in and do an oral defense (which, by the way, almost NONE of my friends have had to do for their grad degrees). If I stop and think about it, which I'm not sure I want to, I have kind of spent 14 years coming to this spot- since I first started doing plays- and although it seems fitting that I have the opportunity to have this capstone, the pressure is a little intense.

Good vibes, please, from 11-12:30.

Smells in the Wind

Today was very humid and it made all the sidewalks in my neighborhood smell like dog pee, which is not my favorite smell to have surround and envelop me.

BUT

I also walked by a park near the river that had sycamore trees which had started turning and some of the leaves had fallen and in the damp air there was that fabulous, sweet smell of autumn leaves.

It didn't quite make up for all the dog pee, but it came close.

A Fog

I am not even close to emerging from a haze of craze. Cox and Mitzel were in town this weekend and we tried to cram a summer's worth of festivity into one weekend and as a result I need some SERIOUS detoxing. Lot's of Pom (I know that you read it wrong, Isaac!). I am excited by all of the work happening this week and next week, but in hindsight I probably could have used more rest and reflection before entering this busy period. Oh well. If there is one thing that the world knows about Lauren's, it's that we love to be busy. I guess I should get into the habit of blogging at work like the rest of you do, but I've actually been busy so far, so I forget. I know! "What? A desk job that keeps you busy, actually busy at work???" It's all true! If I told you how productive I was today, you wouldn't even believe me. It certainly can't last. But for the while, please forgive my spotty blogging. I'll get used to this soon, I promise.

Frickin' Frack

I am entering a season of house guests. They seem to come in bursts, wanting clean sheets and subway directions and expensive dining that isn't expensive.

Of course, some of my guests this month are former New Yorkers, so if that pull that crap I'll punch them in the face!

While having these guests in town, I also have to do my thesis defense, for which it seems I need to have some sort of presentation that I'm not sure about. I'm just a tad worried about this. A presentation? Isn't it enough that I wrote the damn thing? What am I supposed to do? They read it, right?

Also, I'm beginning my teaching artist training next week. This I am looking forward to. I enjoy hanging out with teaching artists all day, and you would too! Of course, it's not all day, because I spend half my days now at a new job, which has been going very well so far. New things I have done this week include:

• Wearing heels three days in a row
• Getting TMI (or NEI?) about my company's financial status
• Decorating my office (really cubicle)
• Having my own business phone line and email

Things that I did this week but that weren't necessarily new include:

• Creating spreadsheets that seem important but that in all likelihood no one will ever use/read
• Skipping lunch and eating at my desk
• Getting really excited about organizational possibilities (nerding out)

I kind of feel like I have gone from zero to sixty this week. In cat terms, that means from napping to front-door-escaping. Or, in squirrel terms, from no tomatoes to all the tomatoes that are growing in my yard. I'm tired. But I can't rest yet. I have a presentation to prepare and sheets to clean.

I'm Off

Starting the new job today, which is really not that new since I've worked at the company for a year and a half, but new since I haven't the slightest clue what I'll be doing. I'm all dressed up, I'm even wearing a dress and heels, so what could possibly go wrong?!?!