New

I have been trying new things lately.

IPJ, my dear and wonderful friend, hooked me up with some pilates instruction that is really making me rethink the way I relate to my body. It feels like such a luxury, and I don't really indulge in luxuries that are good for my body. I've been having lots of body issues lately- back pain and the like- and I'm suddenly starting to think that maybe there is a way for me to feel better other than just avoiding all activity all together. And all this after only one week!

So this week, despite my attempts to take care of my cold, I banded together with some co-workers and made the commitment to go ice skating a couple times a week because the skating is free at certain parks near our place of employment and it is truly a delightfully seasonal joy. We solidified this commitment by buying matching ice skates (surprisingly inexpensive- under $30) and heading out a couple days ago. The first 10 minutes were excruciating and my ankles were screaming, but then after a little bit we finally got the hang of it and were cruising around, if not like pros then at least like reasonably competent people. And we were cute (see below)!

So, two new activities in one week! Not bad for a sick person. Of course, my ankles and abs are pretty sore still, but in the good way. Will I keep it up? We'll just have to see...

Halt

I've given up on my quest for oat/flax bars for a little while because of the onset of my first winter cold. I hate getting sick, but it seems to happen quite frequently this time of year. I need a plan of action that is going to get me through this season with the minimum of missed days because SERIOUSLY I just want my life to be normal and now that I FINALLY have a decent and workable schedule, I'd like to not destroy it with lots of sick days. So these are the accommodations that I am attempting that will help keep me more healthy than I am now:

• I have cut out most of my substance-related vices, including coffee (!!!) and I've been drinking little more than green tea and sparkling water
  
• I am desperately trying to get to bed before midnight every night (with varying success)
• I am eating lots of brightly colored fruits and vegetables
• I'm even taking the dreaded one-a-day vitamins that I don't like

Despite my efforts, it seems likely that I'm going to be sick for awhile, so we'll just see if I can get through the 9 classes, three office days, two meetings, one play, and the ice-skating trip that I already have on the books for this week without too much hazard and I PROMISE I'll book less for next week...

Truly, A Quest

Last summer when MNS and I were in a different country we went to a coffee shop that is ubiquitous in both our country and that one. We found, however, that although we could still get the same tall non-fat iced mochas with light chocolate, this country to the north had far superior snacks. There were these oat/flax/poppyseed lemon bars which I became OBSESSED with, to the point of visiting about 4 s-bux on the way out of town to stock up. I've been thinking a lot about them lately and wanting to make some, but I don't have a recipe and my internet searching is leading me nowhere. I know the following:

• They are soft and chewey
• They taste lemony
• They have oats, flax seeds, and poppyseeds

Other than that, I'm clueless. I figure they must have had some flour and sugar, but probably not a ton, because they didn't really look like they had any. I went to the store today and purchased:

• oats
• flax seeds
• poppyseeds
• dried coconut
• lemons
• flour (w.w. and regular)

But the question is, how will I combine these to make a delicous treat? Do I keep searching for the recipe or do I just start experimenting???? I am lost! I am desperate! Guide me!

I love weekends.

I don't love Monday morning classes.

I do love long showers.

I don't love having to get out of bed earlier than everyone else.

I do love short holiday weeks.

I don't love freezing rain.

I do love that I potentially discovered a much quicker way to get to my class in Harlem- I may have been taking the wrong line for the last month. We'll see how it goes.

It is so sad that I am not sure I want to make it through this two day work week to the five day weekend. I want the weekend right now (pout pout pout).

Release

My great-aunt was released from the hospital yesterday- I went and picked her up and she was doing great. She started cleaning as soon as she got home, despite my protests that she shouldn't exert herself. I'm very glad that she is doing so well because two weeks is a long time in the hospital when one is 70.

Also, and I feel a little guilty for saying it, I'm glad to have a break from the pet-sitting, hospital-visiting schedule that we've been on. Every time I think I have free time, something comes up, it seems. Not that I am in the least bit resentful of taking care of my aunt while she was sick, but it's been a long time since I've been able to go straight home after work. And by a long time, I mean not once this fall. This city takes a lot of time, I've noticed. Time to get from one place to another. Time to set up times to see people. Time to do anything. Even when I do get home before 9pm I find that I have just about zero energy. I guess there could be worse things.

So, next week is a holiday and I actually am not working a ton, and as far as I can tell (knock on wood) I'll have a minimum of classes to plan for, organizing meetings to attend, work functions to be a part of, and family members to take care of. Sounds nice, huh? I have my fingers crossed.

Thinky Thoughts

This is the first week in a long time that I have felt well-rested. I actually feel like I have had enough sleep, and the amazing thing is that I somehow also feel happy, competent, and NOT as though I am scrambling to keep ahold of everything in my life. Yay for sleeping!

The drama continues, however, with the back pain and it seems irrefutable at this point that it has to do with my sleep habits/bed. I am in agony in the mornings, and other times it's fine. I have started going to physical therapy- that is how determined I have been not to admit that I need a new bed. Because I just bought this bed! And it was expensive! I don't want to get another! However, this is starting to interfere with my life, so my plan of action includes many other things instead. Such as getting a new pillow, going to therapy, doing stretches on the floor, wearing a new bra, getting massages. Anything to avoid replacing my six-month old bed.

A Friday but Not...

It feels like Friday because I am tired and surly and finishing things at the last minute. But it doesn't quite feel like a Friday because I'm about to leave on a staff retreat and won't get back until Monday afternoon. Yes it is a retreat, but it is also work. So. I might have a better attitude about this if it were the middle of the week instead of a Friday. But I don't.

BUT I did develop a really special performance of A Porcupine Named Fluffy for the weekend, which involves felt, a bubble-machine, whipped cream, and the soundtrack to "Dead Man Walking". Aren't you bummed that you're missing it? I can be booked for special events...

I am anticipating hot chocolate, cider, "group building activities" and duckpin bowling on this trip. I've got 55 minutes for my attitude to improve.

I am constantly waiting for things to be ready for me.

I'm waiting right now.

I'm just killing time.

This must be what a desk job is like.

:(

I prefer to be more efficient.

Paradox or Predictable?

I am starting a new residency at a school that is all the way out at the end of a train line, and it is in the kind of neighborhood you find at the end of a train line- run down, boarded up. But you walk into this school and it is filled with art and reading nooks and animals and books, books, books, everywhere you look. It is the most amazing school I've been in in NYC, possibly anywhere. It is filled with imagination and safety and love. I went for the first time yesterday and was immediately overwhelmed- such a change from other hallways I've been walking through. The principal there is engaging and enthusiastic and charismatic and it becomes almost immediately clear that this school is this way because she has willed it so. She is the unquestioned authority in this school, and all teachers and all students know that everything begins and ends with Ms. P. My co-worker and I went out yesterday for a planning meeting with the teachers we'll be working with, and Ms. P told us before we came that we should have everything mostly planned out and run by her before the meeting because there were a lot of teachers involved if we tried to do all the planning in the meeting nothing would get accomplished. I thought this was a strange request given our collaborative, partner-based residency approach and our commitment to integrating our work in to the curriculum rather than being stand-alone workshops, but we went along with it. A planning meeting is still a planning meeting, though, and in these meetings we were still soliciting input from the teachers about how the residency would unfold and fit in to their classes. Ms. P came in half-way and overheard my co-worker asking for a teacher's opinion. After the meeting she called my co-worker into her office and reprimanded her, telling her "I was clear that you needed to have your plan approved by me and not ask the teachers their opinions. Don't do it again." I was appalled. She REPRIMANDED a private contractor for doing the job she was hired to do! She instructed us to send her all our lesson plans and come to her first if we had any questions or changes.

So it's got me thinking- most amazing school ever = principal with an iron fist. The kids seem happy, the teachers seem happy, but it still it left me with a strange taste in my mouth. I wonder how the residency will unfold...

Run Down

I discovered people smoking in two unexpected places this weekend. One was an indoor rock concert. One was a hospital emergency room.

I spent most of Friday and then some time each day since then at the hospital because my Great Aunt got very sick with pneumonia, waited too long to go to the doctor, and is now quite ill. I think she's going to be okay, but pneumonia is not so fun, and since Zach and I are the only relatives in the metro area, we've been checking in on her daily. I don't like hospitals. But who does? Better to pop in and visit for an hour than be laid up there for two weeks.

Yesterday I taught three workshops in two boroughs before noon. It involved a $17 cab ride and a cd of "The Irish Rover".

Today I'm teaching a PD for a well-known institution that I've never taught for before. I'm feeling a little bit of pressure, but not so much that I'm as prepared as I ought to be.

I have some new plans a-brewin' regarding storytelling/theatremaking, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet.

This weekend I'm going on a staff retreat for the new job (which isn't as new at this point). We're reshaping our mission statement and I may be leading a workshop on bellydancing.

Goals for this month:

• Read more- specifically on the train and on my couch
• Write more- on this blog and elsewhere
• Plan less for weekday evenings and just come home
• Drink tea and enjoy the fact that it's almost winter

Inappropriate Intimacy

Because of my fight with the 2/3 trains yesterday, I decided to opt for the Q/B today. The Q showed up, however, and was just as crowded as the 2/3 usually is, so I just put my head down and shoved myself in. It was very close and I was nestled up with several grouchy people. After a minute or two the old guy in front of me turns so that I am facing his side instead of his back, which was a little awkward because it made me shove back into the person behind me, but then after another minute I realized that his hand kept brushing up against my crotch! I tried to move and readjust but his hand kept following me and there was really nowhere to go anyway. I tried glaring, but he wasn't looking at me, so I finally just took a deep breath and shoved my way into a 3-inch-wide gap to my other side so that I could get away from him, even though I incurred many glares myself by this seemingly unwarranted between-stops-readjusting. The rest of my commute continued without incident, but I kept my eye on that old man to see if he tried anymore funny business. As the crowd thinned out, I could tell that he really was just a kind of sad old man who looked kind of like my grandpa and maybe he wasn't trying to be a dirty old letch, he was just uncomfortably shoved into a crowded train like the rest of us. But then again, maybe he was.

This city confuses me and makes me sad sometimes.

Intimacy

Last night- checked another "must do while living in New York" item off the list and walked in the Village Halloween Parade. Loved it. Very fun- everyone was in a very good mood and only a few people were obnoxious. I love massive events that have little to no formal or corporate presence- just regular people dressed up and having fun. You can't tell from the picture, but we were very fuzzy and there was a cord between us. If I had had more time, I might have constructed a giant rear view mirror to hold between us. But I didn't.

The only downside to the event was the "holding" period before it began, during which we were corralled without direction or leadership in a maze of police barricades and I was forced to become very intimate with a shark, an N-train, several butterflies, and a punk-rock Smurfette.

I was willing to take the indignity of this intimacy because it was necessary for the parading. This morning on the 2/3 train, however, I was faced with the same physical closeness to my fellow NYers and it was not as pleasant or bearable. I was already late and then I had to watch two trains come and go that were too crowded to get on, so when the third came I just pushed and shoved myself in. I was immediately faced with the options of a) being spooned by the big man behind me, b) spooning the big man in front of me or c) spooning the woman in front of me. Generally I am a fan of spooning, but not in this case, and I opted for the woman just because it felt too dirty to spoon or be spooned by the men and with the woman I felt a little bit of solidarity. Of course, even once I made this decision the mass of people shifted at each stop as more people tried to cram in. Too much closeness. I hate the 2/3 train. I'm thinking about switching my morning commute to the Q/B, but that requires a lot more walking on both ends and it's going to be getting cold soon. Not to mention that walking through Herald Square is a violating nightmare at any time of day.

Effing trains. Maybe if I didn't work for a non-profit I would make enough money to live in the city and then I could walk to work. No, I'm just joking. I would live in bklyn even if I made tons of money.