Finally! Kinda...

So I finally tracked down the people who are supposedly inviting me to do my thesis project at their program. It only took three and a half weeks! It turns out that they are, in fact, still planning on having me do my project there, but they were dealing with vacations and staff turnover and didn't feel like starting in January like we had talked about. Which is actually fine, because I enjoyed not being stressed out this month, but I do wish they would have let me in on their plans.

So, I'm going out there today. Not to start, but to meet the kids and get a feel for what is going to happen and hopefully (fingers crossed) actually schedule a start date. I think it could be as soon as Thursday, but I'm not counting on anything until I get out there. I'm nervous because I've spent so much time planning and anticipating this project that I secretly don't actually want to start.

I've begun to suspect that even when this project starts I will not really be as busy as I like to be. I'm realizing that I'm more of a freak than I thought I was because even though I'm doing everything I want to be doing, I have some sort of lingering guilt about not being over-busy and over-stressed. So I'm applying for another teaching gig. It's only one afternoon a week, but hopefully that will help me have a little of the structure that I've been so gloriously/disastrously without.