Not Crying

Well, I survived today, but I have to say that it was one of the hardest teaching days I've had in awhile. I had a rough pre-show workshop this afternoon with a poorly composed special needs class and some pretty shocking behavioral problems. I think I have just been spoiled lately, because in hindsight it wasn't really all that shocking- the kids just didn't want to be there and had no problem letting us know that- but I have had such delightful workshops lately that I had forgotten how jarring it is not to be welcome.

I headed straight from there to the after-school program, and I am simultaneously encouraged and discouraged. I think that the kids are actually interested in the project and seem to understand what I'm all about, but we don't actually have a room to work in, so they are either climbing over exercise equipment in the weight room or running around the cafeteria that has three other groups in it. Not ideal rehearsal environments. The kids were very easily distracted and I remembered how hard, how painfully hard it is to start a devising process. I feel so much more comfortable in a structured classroom where I have objectives and outcomes, and I am terrified by the moment of asking "so, what do you want to do a play about?" I have a lot of thinking to do before I go back on Thursday.

Between these two classes I facilitated for 2 hours and commuted for 5 hours. I am not sure if that is an acceptable ratio, but it is a realistic ratio. Tomorrow I'm getting sent up to Connecticut. I have to leave my house at 7:30am. I won't get home until after 6:30pm. I will be facilitating for 3 hours. I just don't know. The getting there is hard work.