A Big Step

I got to my parents' house this week and learned that my baby brother just got engaged. I'm feeling a little conflicted because he's only twenty and hasn't even declared a major in college yet, but they seem very happy and whatnot, so I guess I'm on board. He and his girlfriend, excuse me, fiance, have been together for several years. As long as me and my mister were before we got hitched, actually, they just started earlier.

So I've been thinking about pearls of wisdom that I can pass on to my betrothed brother that will help them navigate the beginning of their marriage (since that's the only phase of marriage I really know anything about).

1) DON'T GET AN EFFING CREDIT CARD UNTIL YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT THAT YOU ACTUALLY PUT MONEY INTO. Obviously the most important key to any successful relationship.

2)Don't try to keep an equitable division of labor in the household. It doesn't work. Doing the dishes does not equal feeding the pets, and you will sound silly if you try to claim that it does. Keeping track of who does what is ridiculous because it does not matter what chores you do, they will always seem more tiresome than whatever the other person did. You will always feel like you are the one taking on the greater burden.

3) Don't keep track of who is bringing in the money, either. Yeah, I worked my butt off as a barista for three years to put beans on the table, but as soon as he was out of school he surpassed my life-time earnings in about three weeks. Nothing comes from keeping track.

4) Have open lines of communication with the in-laws. If your partner wants to know something from your mother, have them call her instead of being the go-between, and you do the same with your mother-in-law. Too much is lost in translation.

5) Don't try to be a new person when you get married. Don't expect your partner to be a new person.

6) Continue to compliment one another. I just realized as I typed that last sentence that it could mean two different things, and I guess I mean both of them.

7) Don't join in with your girlfriends/guy friends when they start in with the "well, you know how the men can be..." and complain about their partners. Your partner is a full human being, not a gender stereotype. Don't say anything about your partner to a friend that you wouldn't say to their face.

8) Go out on dates. Do fun things together.

9) Have traditions that are all yours, like Waffle Time. I strongly suggest composing a song and dance to go with your special times.

10) Don't judge your relationship by anyone else's standards. Let it be as unique as the two of you are.

Does anyone else have any tidbits on relationships that I can pass on to my wee little brother?